Tag Archives: HipMunk

The Extreme Sport of Dealing with Timesharers

It was our first wedding anniversary and we were dead broke. But thanks to an insanely cheap Groupon for five nights in Cabo we were getting on a southbound plane and we were going to celebrate. We’d just need to be really strict with the pesos once we got there.

We knew that sitting through a timeshare presentation was one way of getting free tours and booze cruise excursions, so we inquired about it when checking in to our hotel. We made an appointment for the next morning, being assured by the nice lady that there would be plenty of free mimosas and it would only take about 45 minutes.

What happened the next day could probably be prosecuted as kidnapping in the United States.


It started off harmless.  “The conference room is right over there”, the man said as he pointed at a building about 100 feet away.  “Plus, you’ll get to see the properties that we’re selling along the way.”  We rolled our eyes and snickered quietly. Eyes on the prize…

To make a very long story short, we were forcefully marched up a dusty hill and through mazes of empty hotel rooms, almost straight uphill, in 110-degree heat.  I promise you it was a mountain because when we finally made it to the top, I could clearly see Venezuela.  But we made it.  And we were promised free stuff if we sat through the presentation.  And we patiently listened to why we should buy a timeshare in lovely Cabo San Lucas, how affordable it is and how stupid you would have to be not to buy one.

Here’s where it will start to get ugly so you must keep focus on the prize – free stuff.

Suddenly, timeshare guy grabbed the mimosa straight out of my hand when I laughed and told him “We’re broke! Now where are those vouchers”? He proceeded to kick us out of the building, leaving us to fend for ourselves and find our way through the mountain of mazes of white pathways without any idea of how we were going to find our way back to the hotel.

But then we saw it. It was our only hope in making it down the mountain before heatstroke started to take its effects on our alcohol-deprived bodies. It was a golf cart. And it was empty.  Before you could say “Adios! Me voy a casa!” we were off.  The sun was setting, which meant happy hour by the pool, so we had to move quickly.

We drove that golf cart right through the hotel lobby and straight out to the pool.  We had a few/10 cocktails and talked excitedly about the free adventures that awaited us.

ImageAnd yes, we finally did get our vouchers. And we will return to Mexico as we do every year.  And we will go to another timeshare presentation so we can enjoy ourselves like any regular tourist.  And you should too.  Just be warned that getting free stuff is an exhausting and sometimes dangerous task.  But hey, I did get to swim with dolphins. For free.  (And that golf cart ride was pretty fun too…)

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